First they came for the pit bulls and I did not speak out - because I did not own a pit bull.

Then they came for the poisonous horned toads and I did not speak out -
because I thought they were slimy, disgusting amphibians.

Then they came for the swordfish and I did not speak out - because I
read an article that said they were high in mercury and bad for children
or women who are nursing or could become pregnant.

Finally, they came for me and there was no one left to speak for me
because - well, because they forgot to come for the plumed, venomous
flying snakes who attack at night and had wiped out everyone else.

The lesson: Dangerous animals come in many forms.

Aurora wants to join Denver and ban pit bulls?

What's next? Do they want to take away our trapdoor spiders, grizzly
bears and electric eels?

They can have my pit bull when they pry the studded leather leash out of
my cold, dead hands.

And not a minute before.

As any dog expert will tell you, there is no such thing as a pit bull.
The breed simply doesn't exist, so banning it would be senseless.

There are breeds sometimes confused with pit bulls - the American Pit
Bull Terrier, the Staffordshire Pit Bull Terrier and the NASCAR Pit Bull
Terrier - but this designation "pit bull" is as meaningless as can be.

First, some history.

Once, in England, in the days of Shakespeare, dog breeders decided to
create a majestic canine with the strength of five men, the jaws of a
crocodile and the temperament of Mary Poppins.

After years of selective breeding, they created a line that could fight
bulls, bears and the recently discovered rhinoceros. Peasants would
gather to wager as this regal beast took on all comers in the village
pit - and thus was born the legend of the pit bull.

Known as the "nanny dog," because they were often left in charge of
upper-class toddlers while their parents fought in Crusades or
subjugated the Indian subcontinent, this breed was as gentle in the
nursery as it was formidable in the fighting pit.

Just as the British royal family has suffered from centuries of
inbreeding, pit bulls have, over time, lost the royal qualities that
once distinguished them, although, unlike the British royal family, they
have maintained their excellent teeth.

What Americans know these days as pit bulls are pale imitations of the
breed - if the breed can be said to still exist at all.

Just as Siamese Fighting Fish cannot be banned, because Siam no longer
exists - the same as Burmese Spitting Lizards are safe within city
limits, since Burma has a new name - these "pit bulls" spoken of with
such authority by animal control officials are mere wisps of
imagination.

While the American Pit Bull is part chainsaw, part cobra and part Old
Yeller, Aurora lawmakers miss the truly dangerous animals right under
our nose.

What about the so-called Africanized Killer Bees? We've been reading
about their conquest of the American Southwest for decades - adorable
honeybees crossed with jackals and some sort of flesh-eating fish,
something like a barracuda - making their way across the ocean and up
the continent. They're supposed to be the worst thing since the flying
snakes, and harder to kill.

Any dog can be a menace. There once was a basset hound that drowned an
infant in its slobber. And, pound for pound, beagles are responsible for
as many injuries as pit bulls. It has something to do with elderly
people tripping over them while the beagles doze.

Ernest Luning is news editor of the Aurora Daily Sun. Reach him at
303-750-7555 or e-mail
ernest@aurorasentinel.com.